We're All Stories, in the End...

Annyeonghaseyo~!

As I'm writing this, it's Friday, May 23, 2014. (Yes, I'm about a week late in posting it...) I just witnessed my boyfriend graduating tonight, and as proud of him as I am, I was brought back to memories of my own graduation.

I graduated May 17, 2011. That night was one of the most memorable of my life, and I'll never forget it. It was a very emotional time, and a very important moment. Tears were shed (a lot of them), hugs were given (also a lot), and smiles were shared (more like huge grins). I remember how happy - and nervous - I was to walk across that stage and receive my own diploma. And the feeling afterward, that most everyone experiences: "What now?"

Milestones are important events in our life that stay with us forever. First day of kindergarten to graduating to getting married - those are moments never forgotten (well, maybe the first day of kindergarten. But your loved ones probably remember that). After these milestones happen, you have that "what now?" feeling. And all that can be said as an answer is "life". Life happens.

After a milestone begins something new. Think of life as a story. Your life is one long book, and each milestone is a new chapter. Not a blank slate, no. Just a continuation of events that will eventually lead to a whole novel. A novel of your life. The chapters of your story are all written by you. You're the author, the illustrator, the painter. You're the artist of your story.

Make your milestones memorable. Cherish them. Love the small things in life. Love people, and love yourself. Live for the moment. Carpe diem. Seize the day, because you never know if you'll get another one. Live each moment as if it were your last. This obviously doesn't mean go out and be continuously idiotic in your actions. If today were your last day, how would you want people to remember you? In your kind words, your caring heart, and your compassion?

Live, love, and laugh. Laugh a lot. A whole lot. Smiles are contagious, and can brighten your day. Laughter can make you feel better. Live for the moments that make you laugh.

Remember the ones who stayed by your side when you went through hell. When you were down, who helped you up and dusted you off? Keep those people by your side, and if they're gone, remember them. Never forget their smiles, their laughter, their hugs. Remember the kind words they gave you. Remember happy times. Memories are a powerful thing. Don't just focus on the bad memories. Not everyone has a happy life. But if you remember the things that made you smile, I'm sure you'll smile again.

Milestones, moments, and memories. We live for these three things. They make up your life, your story, your epic chronicle. As the author of our story, we need to remember the good, and live for the small happy moments. Live for happiness. Strive to give others the happiness you feel. Give a smile, a wave, a simple hello. You have no idea what kind of difference that may make in someone else's life. Be yourself. Don't hide behind this fake mask of "perfection". Make mistakes. Learn from them. Mistakes are part of life. Part of your story.

Most of all, love. Love with your heart open. You may get hurt, but it's worth it in the end. Love fiercely, and love with passion. Love with fire in your heart. Make your love burn and shine as bright as the sun. Love others with so much intensity, that they don't easily forget you. Make them remember you positively. Live and love in a way that brings a smile to someone's face when they hear your name. 

Live your story. Write it eloquently, fiercely, and passionately, as a good author should. Live for the new chapters. Live for the memories. Live for the moments.

"We're all stories, in the end. Just make it a good one, eh?"

~이하늘

(Why yes, the quote did come from Doctor Who. Plenty of life lessons in that show...)

Modesty? What's That?

Annyeonghaseyo~

I went shopping in Wal-Mart for clothes last week (yes, I shop at Wal-Mart. I'm broke.) and almost every item I saw was... well, let's just say it was half there. For men, it doesn't really seem like the style changes that much from year to year. But for women in the summer? It seems the clothes get smaller and smaller each year. Bathing suits are now tiny triangles that cover the intimate parts of skin, and t-shirts are becoming... not really t-shirts anymore. There's so many articles of clothing that have cut outs on the back and sides, and so many dresses now that show way too much skin. Do these girls have no modesty?

I went to shop for a summer dress in the mall (seeing as there were none in Wal-Mart) and I went to glance in Aeropostale. The modesty in there is starting to wear thin, too. Beginning with the Bethany Mota line. There's so many cut outs and backless dresses and shirts that show your stomach... Just so much immodesty now.

The immodesty has gotten to be so bad that it's almost impossible for my mother to find an appropriate swimsuit for my six year old sister. You hear that? She's six, and the clothing companies are producing skimpy bikinis and immodest shirts for her size. Now, when companies try to market "sexy" to six year olds, You know it's gone too far.

Now, I'm not saying to act like you're in 1950 and cover up all of your skin. I'm just saying that girls need to show more modesty. Don't they realize that by wearing less, they're giving (some, not all) guys initiative to try to do a bit more than just date? Yes, the human body is a beautiful thing. As an artist, I believe every individual is beautiful in their pure and natural self. But seeing as our community is not a nudist one, I believe that girls should have modesty. Not wearing shirts and shorts that are just barely passing for clothes.

While I'm on the subject of appearance, guys need to have more modesty as well. I know only a very few select men who are modest in their actions and appearance. Most other guys have their pants halfway to their ankles and their underwear showing. Note, guys: This is not attractive. At all. It just looks like you were too lazy or broke to buy a belt. Please pull up your pants; we don't all want to see what kind of Winnie the Pooh boxers you're wearing today.

Modesty is a beautiful thing. It isn't just in appearance. It's the way we act. I hear so many people (girls and guys) act despicable to someone just because they don't like them. I'll tell you, if I don't like someone, it doesn't matter. I will still treat them with respect. I will still talk to them. I'll still give them a smile. Because no matter what, I don't know their life story. I don't know what they've been through. I mean, a smile could be the thing they need to get through another day.

Modesty is humility. Not embarrassment. Humility. So many people now don't know what that word means. Humility is humbleness. Not bragging about yourself. It's the state of not thinking you're better than everyone else. I see so many people bragging about this or that, or treating someone like crap because they're "lower on the social scale". It's sad that we even have a "social scale". That just because not everyone knows your name, you're automatically branded a "loser" or "outcast". Yet, most of the "popular" crowd tend to be arrogant and will put someone else down in a heartbeat. Some have no sense of modesty.

Men and women need to use more modesty in their speech and actions. Don't talk bad about someone. Act as if you're meeting yourself for the first time and want to make a good impression. Don't act all puffed up with an ego as big as a planet. Having a big ego is like the opposite of modesty. Being selfish or conceited are two other things that don't show modesty. Put others first. Put yourself last. Treat others with kindness, respect, and sincerity, and I'm sure the same will be returned to you.

I should talk about respect, but that deserves a post all of its own. What do you think? Do you think people should show more modesty or is society fine the way it is? Let me know in the comments!

~이하늘

I'm So Addicted...

Annyeonghaseyo~!

What am I addicted to, might you ask?

K-dramas.

Yep. K-dramas. For those who don't know what they are, they're Korean dramas. Mostly revolving around love or revenge, but they're (in my opinion) ten times better than most American dramas. (I say most because there's still some American dramas I like - Once Upon a Time, Switched at Birth, and Breaking Bad, for example)

But there's something about K-dramas that has me addicted. I'll find myself binge watching an entire season (which, most K-dramas have only one season, of about 16-21 episodes. More, if it's extremely popular) in a week. The quirky characters, the suspense, and the cliffhangers that are put at the end of EVERY episode draw me in even more. Yes, it is in a completely different language, but I believe that's another reason why I like it.

I love to be able to learn a bit about the culture (a bit - obviously, dramas aren't that true to life). I'm able to learn what this word means, what kind of food is popular, etc. I especially enjoy the historical ones, such as Faith and Dr Jin (both time travel related). I really enjoy supernatural type dramas such as My Girlfriend is a Gumiho, and My Love From the Stars (aka, My Love From Another Star). Supernatural and sci-fi have always struck my fancy, but I don't see many of those in K-dramas. Maybe the occasional body switcher (BIG and Secret Garden are examples) could be supernatural, in a way.

Other types I enjoy are some "gender benders" - where girls pretend to be guys to get closer to a guy they like, or for some other reason (such as becoming a pop star, filling in for a twin brother, etc.). Dramas like this are To the Beautiful You, You are Beautiful, and K-Pop Ultimate Survival. I could write a list of all the wonderful K-dramas I've seen, and I can't particularly pick a favourite. I suppose the most liked one is a tie between My Girlfriend is a Gumiho and To the Beautiful You.

My very first K-drama was BIG - where the minds of an older man and a young boy swap bodies after a car crash. Sometimes it's a "Murphy's Law set in motion" kind of drama, where everything that can go wrong, will. But I loved it, because usually K-dramas wrap up pretty nicely toward the end.

Though, there's one thing I can't stand in K-drama: the second male lead being... well, second. Usually, there's a love triangle in most dramas. It's just a thing that draws most people in. But, if you're going to make a love triangle, you're not supposed to have the female lead fall for the major jerk. The second male lead is almost always the sensitive, kindhearted one who will pick the heroine up when she's feeling down or help her in any way he possibly can to make her happy. But does she look twice at him? No! Okay, maybe in a couple of dramas does she actually look at the guy as a little more than a friend, but even then, only briefly. She still ends up with the major jerk who magically turns nice guy in 16 episodes.

Yet, despite that infuriating part of K-drama, I'm still addicted. I'm still sucked in. As of now, I'm still watching My Love From the Stars and Lie to Me, as well as occasionally watching K-Pop Ultimate Survival. My favourite? My Love From the Stars. For all my fellow addicted fans: kdrama.com is up and running, with a bunch of K-dramas (and more are continually being added. You can also send in suggestions).

Let me know if you lovelies would like me to do a review on a drama (which, I'll take by episodes, as they're about an hour long each), or if you'd like me to make a list of recommended dramas (and where they can be found). Let me know what you'd like in the comments~!

~이하늘

Blog Schedule~

Annyeonghaseyo~!

So, I'm trying to update more frequently, but I find myself running out of ideas too quickly. Instead, when I find an idea, I'll write the post, but schedule it for later. I may end up doing them just on Saturdays? What do you guys think?

I have one more post scheduled for tomorrow, so for this week, that may be it. I may just end up doing them once a week, to keep fresh ideas coming to mind. Saturdays seem good, but there may be another day that could seem convenient. I'll be working on the schedule to see how it goes, and I'll tweak it a bit until I find one that works for me.

Thank you to all my lovely readers~
Let me know any suggestions in the comments~!

Next post: Wednesday @ 1:00 pm, PST.

~이하눌

The Book Thief: A Review

Annyeonghaseyo~!

I've finally gotten around to writing another blog post. This one shall be a review of the movie, The Book Thief. It will mostly be movie biased, seeing as I have not read the book by Markus Zusak yet. Although, after seeing the movie, I believe that reading the book will be not far behind.

I shall start off by presenting the storyline. The Book Thief is set in Nazi Germany 1939. Liesel Meminger is a ten year old girl whose mother had to give her up for adoption, alongside her little brother. Due to sickness, she loses her brother on the way to the foster home and while digging a grave for him, finds a book entitled The Grave Digger's Handbook. So begins her journey for knowledge.

After her arrival at her foster home, she quickly bonds with her new Papa, and continues her search for more books and learning new things. Later on, she befriends a young Jew who takes refuge in her house to escape the Holocaust.

This movie is a touching story of a young girl who has a thirst for knowledge, and a love for her family and friends. Seeing as it's set in Nazi Germany, there is tragedy and death all around. Yet in the midst of all the disaster, this girl finds hope in books.

First, I'd like to say, I love the acting. Sophie Nélisse does an amazing job as Liesel, from my perspective. The actors made the characters believable to where I was even more entranced by the movie. One thing that I've noticed a lot of people don't like, is that they're speaking English, with a German accent - in Germany. Honestly, I like this aspect, as it would make it harder for some viewers to watch if it had subtitles (though, I still had to put subtitles on as sometimes the German accent was a bit thick and hard to understand). I love the storyline, as it's a very touching tale. Toward the end, I was trying to hold back tears.

The movie also shows a different side to the Holocaust: the Nazi's side. It shows that Nazi's weren't all born into hatred, and that they weren't made from hatred. Liesel shows that by cheerfully singing the Nazi anthem in one scene. Yet, she remembers her mother, which makes her hesitate.

Now, I'm obviously not a very good reviewer, because I find it hard to dislike things  in a movie that I really like. I'll just end up listing all the good parts about it. But honestly, I think the movie was fairly well carried out. The only thing I had any problem with was understanding the accent at times. A couple of German words were thrown in for good measure, but it didn't take away from the story.

Do you guys have any other opinions? Different points that I didn't list? Let me know in the comments!

~이하눌

Depression and Anxiety: Experiences and Misconceptions

Annyeonghaseyo~!

I'll admit - it was really hard for me to accept the fact that I was struggling. It was even harder to come to terms with the thing I was struggling with: depression. Also, along with that depression came anxiety. These two things may not mean much to you, but to a person who suffers with them, they are their whole life. Or what seems like it.

A lot of people perceive depression as just a deep melancholy. Something easily gotten over if you give them time. But that's not the case. For those of you who think that it's not actually a mental illness, let me take you into the mind of someone who suffers from it.

I say suffer, because it's torture. Some people believe that those who suffer with depression want to be sad, but that's most certainly not the case. It's that we can't be happy. We try. We try really hard sometimes, but it doesn't work out in our favour.

Depression is a constant feeling of sadness, anxiety, and emptiness. It's more than just the kind of "hey, you'll get over it" sadness. It's a sadness that tortures us because more than half the time, we don't know where the sadness stems from. We don't understand why we're sad sometimes. It just happens. So, here's my personal experiences with depression.

Four years ago was when I knew my depression hit its peak. Back then, I didn't really realize I had depression. I hadn't heard a lot about it. I thought I was just unnaturally sad a lot; I felt I was a sad kind of person. I wasn't always sad, though. I still had happy times; I smiled and laughed a lot. But I still felt this emptiness. It didn't go away. During that time, I experienced some trauma. Because of this, my depression got worse - so bad, that I had resorted to cutting. It wasn't the kind of "I want to be popular with the emo-type kids" cutting. It was the kind that was "Physical pain is easier to manage than emotional pain, and it gets my mind off of my emotions".

Soon after, I started drowning myself in music, art, and books. It helped a little, until I started having suicidal thoughts. I had one friend that I met that helped me through that, and made me realize how much I was worth. I continued to turn to my friends for support, and losing myself in my art and music. Music spoke to me so well, and it still does. It breathes the words I am at a loss for and speaks for my soul when I'm lost. That's what helped quell the depression then: support, and finding something I'm passionate about.

But sometimes depression doesn't go away completely. It comes back. This past year has been rough for me. For those who haven't gone through depression, here's what it's like. For me, anyway.

I can't sleep at night, no matter how much I try. My thoughts come around to haunt me and it's so hard to stop thinking of them. I know people who sleep too much because of their depression. It's different with every person. I can't concentrate on easy tasks - tasks as simple as writing something down or remembering to make a pizza at work or whatever, are extremely difficult tasks sometimes. Another thing - I can't remember much sometimes. Some days, I forget what happened just the day before. It's hard to remember small things unless written down.

No matter how hard I try, it seems impossible to control my negative thoughts. Or thoughts period. I feel hopeless and helpless sometimes. Not as often, but it happens. It frustrates me sometimes. I have a very low appetite sometimes. So much that I'm picked on for eating like a bird, even though it's true. About a month or two ago, I went from 115 lbs to 99. I'm still trying to gain the weight back. I also get more irritable. That's the hardest thing for me to control. I snap at people without meaning to, and I get easily annoyed by the smallest things. Even something as ridiculous as a song repeating the same line about ten times.

With depression, this time came anxiety. Namely, anxiety and panic attacks. Now, let me tell you how anxiety feels, for me. It feels like I can't breathe; my heart rate feels like it's speeding up, but half the time it stays normal. Other times, if I panic too much, it elevates slightly. Anxiety feels as if I'm waiting for something, but I have no idea what I'm waiting for. I feel dizzy, nauseous, and completely unfocused. If someone were to ask me to do something or remember something during an anxiety attack, it would be forgotten as soon as it was said. Along with all that, I'm completely shaky and unable to sit still, and my palms sweat a bit (or my hands turn to ice - it's usually one of the two) when I'm anxious. My thoughts during an attack remain uncontrollable, which makes it really hard to sleep when I have an attack at night.

That's another thing: anxiety and panic attacks aren't convenient most of the time. I have them often at work. I begin to feel nauseous and dizzy and a feeling of panic and fear overwhelms me. From what? Sometimes random little things, and sometimes I have no idea. I also get a minor rash - mainly a few little bumps on my arms - when I'm anxious. It's not contagious. Just triggered by anxiety. Also, I think.... a lot. And I think some more. I over think. And it gets exhausting. You know how normal people are exhausted physically by their work? That's me, but mentally instead.

Now, onto the things that annoy me, as someone struggling with anxiety and depression:

The phrase "calm down". You'll never know how hard it is to calm down during an anxiety/panic attack until you've experienced one.

The phrase "don't be afraid". You know how fear is for normal people? Multiply that. By like, twenty. That's the fear level for a person with anxiety. To a person who suffers with anxiety, small fears are amplified. For example, I have a fear of heights. And anxiety. You will never know how truly terrifying it is to get on a ride that goes up higher than my comfort level, and how sickening the sensation of a roller coaster descending is. There isn't a "it's going to be okay" mentality in me. It's just fear.

The thought that stress and anxiety are the same. Stress is more of a contagious emotion. Anxiety is something mental, usually stemmed from a mental illness.

People who get enjoyment or a joke out of it. I have arachnophobia and coulrophobia, as well as acrophobia. That's the fear of spiders, clowns, and heights, respectively. I cannot stand when shown a picture of a spider, or of a clown, and people laugh when I freak out. I also cannot stand feeling like I'm pressured to get on a ride that goes high in the air and freaking out, and someone getting a laugh out of it.

Though I still suffer with these things, I do try to find ways to get over them. I have people I can talk to, and I have friends who support me. My boyfriend has been more supportive than I ever could have asked for. I have come up with a summer plan to help my depression and anxiety get better. By eating healthier (and including Omega-3 rich foods), getting more exercise, working more, and surrounding myself with more supportive people, I'll be able to take steps to work through my depression. I'm also working to change my outlook from pessimistic to optimistic, and doing away with negative thoughts. My friends and family will be here to support me along the way, and I thank all of them for being here.

For anyone suffering with depression, a great support group is TWLOHA: To Write Love On Her Arms. It can be found here. They are also active on FaceBook, as found here. I'm also always willing to be of some support to anyone. It will always be anonymous (if wished) and completely confidential. Thanks to all for listening (or reading...) and I shall return soon with another post!

~이하늘

Favourite Deviants~

Annyeonghaseyo~!

I have a deviantART account... which I barely use, but I think I need to use more often. Lately, I've been searching for inspiration, but the only inspiration I get is to write (which is something - at least I'm letting my creative juices flow somehow). I want to draw again. More importantly, I want to improve on my digital art skills, but pretty much any Photoshop or Illustrator is way too expensive right now. And I really don't want to do Creative Cloud. My free trial for Paint Tool SAI will expire soon too...

So instead of me continuing making up excuses why I'm not present on DA, I want to share with you some of my favourite deviant artists, and you can follow their work. I'm sure they post way more often than I do.

First is sakimichan. She's mostly known for her semi-realism digital art, as well as her Disney gender-bends. Examples of her work are down at the bottom of the post. Her art inspires me to perform better in semi-realistic art. She's done a couple of tutorials, and by learning through those, I am becoming much better at this style of art. Her pieces are also breathtakingly beautiful, and have so much attention to detail. Seriously, her Elsa painting is amazingly detailed if you zoom in.

Next up, there's Mike Inel. His art has a more sketchy feel to some, and others have a clean look. My favourite pieces of his are the sketched ones. Mostly, I love his animations. He's best known for his animation "Draw With Me", which is one of the most touching animations I've seen in a while. He inspires me to not only have a good drawing, but to have a story behind it as well.

Another artist is Reiko Hattori, best known for her love for all things Jack Frost. She does some pretty amazing Jack Frost fan art, as well as digital fan art scenes from movies. She also has her own original art that's really impressive as well. I came to know her on Art Amino (an iPhone/iPod app), and she's incredibly sweet and helpful as well.

The last artist I will feature in this post (don't worry, I'll do another favourites post in the future. This is by far not all of my favourites) is Christina Yen, a.k.a. The-SixthLeafClover. Her work is mostly centered around fantasy - mainly dragons. She also has her own shop, from where she sells dragon sculptures - extremely detailed sculptures. Her sculptures are what inspired me to put more detail into my own sculpting.

Here's a bit of the work done by each artist. Note, that I do not take any credit at all. All rights go to the original artist, as credited.

sakimichan:

Mike Inel:

Reiko Hattori:

The-SixthLeafClover:

Again, all credit goes to the original artists. Please support them by checking out their works~! Just click on the names above (in their descriptions) to be sent to each artist's profile.

~이하늘

Intelligence: A Matter of Opinion

Annyeonghaseyo~!

You're sitting at your high school awards ceremony, or you've just finished taking an exam or the ACT. You get your scores back for the test, or you receive a couple of awards, if any. You look at yourself and feel as if you aren't smart enough or that you could have done better. We all do this. Everyone does. And in some point in his or her life, everyone feels unintelligent. But just because your grades aren't the best, or you didn't receive an award, doesn't mean you aren't intelligent. Because, get this: grades don't measure intelligence.

Did I actually say that? Yes, grades are an important factor in getting into colleges, or having a high GPA. But they don't measure how smart you are. They also don't determine how well you will do in a particular career. Why? Because you're learning. You don't know all this stuff beforehand, and you're just now taking it all in. You'll apply it later in life.

Intelligence is defined in multiple ways. It's the capacity for a person's logic, understanding, abstract thought, self awareness, communication, learning, problem solving, emotional knowledge, memory, and planning. Therefore, intelligence isn't just book smarts. It isn't all about grades. It's about understanding and learning. And the way one person learns isn't the same as any other person's. One person may be a kinesthetic learner, and the other, an audio and visual learner.

This is why grades don't accurately measure intelligence. In school, the only type of resource you're supplied with is audio and visual (except in lab, where you get to apply science and hopefully not blow up the class). For someone who learns kinesthetically, the books and lectures may not be enough. And many schools don't supply an alternative learning style.

Aside from learning styles, test taking is nerve-wracking. It's a huge thing for many students. Many get stumped when put on the spot, or even have a fear of taking tests. I know of many people who I consider intelligent that may not have the best grades. My younger brother, for one. He may not be the best student in school, but there is no doubt that he has a high capacity for understanding, emotional knowledge, and communication.

Grades can't measure your capacity for many things that makes a person intelligent. In my opinion, intelligence isn't measured by grades or ACT's or GPA's. It's measured by your own opinion, and by the person that you are. My brother is empathetic; he knows when something is wrong with someone, and he understands. That, in my opinion, is a sign of intelligence.

My boyfriend, who loves learning and dislikes school, is intelligent. He has a high capacity for learning and logic, and loves to apply science to even the smallest things. He has an understanding of emotions, and always knows when something is wrong. I find that it doesn't matter what grades are, what your ACT scores look like, what college you go to, or what your major is - intelligence is all a matter of opinion.

~이하늘